Feel like all the effort I go through in like has led me to being tough but physically weak I feel like moss, I dont need much, I 'll grow on concrete to live and iv been there in the corners since the beginning, I have no art no muse, I have no effect anymore and I dont change at all.
in my life as the human moss I get on with things, you know so people think im ok, so they arnt changed, so I dont burst out with everything that wrong, and so I dont feel like im a liar, because they dont think im sad. But with everything I do and everything I touch theres a grind a slip up or a full on break, most of the time I feel like people think im being pretentious or play the devels advocac, iv got no real relationships iv nothing to bace them off and when I try to socialise its like im playing jenga with what I can say or I find the blockis already gone but I dont know where.
I dont know, because you do, I can because it usless, my mind is like a civ some days and I cant eat dinner because it doesn't have tast, iv had the same block nose for what seem like for ever and my ear attacks me every time I sit and stand (a build up of fluid behing my ear drum) my room is a mess partly by choice, iv given up on the clean and tidy when I all I can think is I wanna rot like the 3month old co co pos on my desc, iv got three computers that once worked I pached them all up for one p.c and it broke, I cant help but want to wast my time smoking weed because it makes me feel relaxed, sorry thats a lie because it make me distracted so I dont dweel and fall into the well of suicidal thought that plage my every second step
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